Sasuke, Let Me Tell You 'Bout
by Deidara's Sugar Girl
Summary: "Here is a kunai, and here is a shurikkan, a man puts his kunai in the woman's shurikkan, and then releases his ninjutsu into the shurikkan hole." "Excuse me?" Sakura, Ino, Neji, Naruto, Hinata and Lee try to explain the basics of baby making to Sasuke.


"Sasuke, as your teammate, I bring it upon myself to teach you the valuable knowledge of life."

"Hn."

"Now Sasuke, do you know how babies are made?"

"Hn."

"When a mommy and daddy love each other very much, a spiritual wonder happens and a baby is made."

"Spiritual wonder?"

"Um, well you see, the father puts his p... p-pe- um -cough- in the mothers v-va-g-g-g ahem v-"

"Get on with it, I have to avenge my family and you're wasting my time."

"Okay, okay, Mr. Emo, let me put it another way. Here is a kunai, and here is a shurikkan, a man puts his kunai in the woman's shurikkan, and then releases his ninjutsu into the shurikkan hole."

"Excuse me?"

"Argh, there has to be an easier way... HEY INO PIG."

"What is it forehea-OH Sasuke!"

"Ino, please explain the reproduction system to Sasuke."

"Huh? You mean like... babies?"

"No Ino, tacos."

"Oh I see. Well sure, that's easy. It's like the birds and the bees. A bee comes and pollenates the bud, thus it blooms into a young flower. Like a Momma and her children."

"Babies come from flowers?"

"NO! Ino pig, what kind of explanation is that!"

"Well sorry! It worked for me when my parents explained it."

"Hey look, lets ask Neji."

"Neji!"

"Yes?"

"Please explain "the bird and the bees" to Sasuke."

"I don't see how this is helpful for anyone."  
"OF COURSE it's helpful. Sasuke's going to join Orochimaru in like- 24 chapters, he has to know before then."

"Wait, wait what?"  
"And your point?"

"Oh, come on, Neji, please?"  
"-glare- fine. Destiny is how babies are made -walks away-"

"...well that was helpful, forehead, anymore bright ideas?"  
"OI, SAKURA-CHAN!"

"Oh jeez, Naruto."

"What's wrong? Hey let's ask Naruto."

"Are you serious! Naruto knows just as much as Sasuke, if anything he knows less."

"Hey Naruto, tell Sasuke how babies are made!"

"INO"  
"Huh? Babies? The stork right?"  
"So... Oblivious."

"AH! -smack-"

"OW! Sakura-chan, what-I do?"  
"C-calm down billboard-brow."  
"Sakura, my love!"

"Lee!"

"ew... Lee, explain to Sasuke the reproduction system."  
"YOSH! The power of youth courses through the veins and blood of a man and a woman in love!"

"-blink- is he for real?"

"AH Sasuke, don't walk away!"

"My ears... are bleeding."

"Don't say that! This is important."

"Why?"  
"Yeah, Sakura-chan, why is this important."

"Argh Naruto, -whisper whisper-"

"AHHHH! SASUKE-TEME COME BACK!"

"Oi, oi, loser let go."

"U-um N-naruto-kun?"

"Oh Hinata, when'd you get here?"

"U-m.. w-well y-y-you see..."

"Heh?"

"HINATA"

"eek"

"Please, we beg you, explain to Sasuke about how babies are made!"

"o-oh well... Neji-ni-san told me to n-n-never t-talk d-dirty in p-public!"

"Ugh this is hopeless."

"Maybe not yet, forehead!"

"What do you mean by that Ino PIG"

"I mean him-Hey SHIKAMARU!"

"Don't shout, I'm right here."

"Huh, Shikamaru?"

"What can that lazy-ass possible do to help!"  
"Don't talk, you still believe in the stork."

"Pfft, the stork, really?"

"S-shuddup!"

"N-naruto-kun"

"AH, Hinata, you're still here?"

"Whaddya want Ino?"

"Well you see, forehead here called me over to tell Sasuke how babies are made, but I couldn't give him an answer that he understood, so we asked Neji who gave us his usual destiny shit, and walked away. So we asked Naruto, who still believes in the stork because he's an idiot and when we asked Lee, he went all weird acting with his sunset backdrop and fake waves of youthfulness. Hinata is still prude so she won't say anything!"

"H-hey..."

"Why don't you just tell him straight up you bunch of wussies."

"That's disgusting, who would do that?"

"Sasuke, all you have to do is shove your -beep- in a woman's -beep- and -beep beep- her -beep- until you -beep- all over her insides and then you -beep beep beep beep- which makes her -beep- and then she has a baby."

Everyone: "O_O"

"Oh. My. God."

"YOU SICKO!"

"That was way to explicit."

"H-hey, Sasuke-teme you okay?"

-all face Sasuke-

"... I think... I'm gay."

END.

Naruto: YAY!

Sugar: I thought I wasn't HAVING a helper this time around D:

Naruto: Sasuke is all mine :3

Sugar: Alright, you take that up with Sakura. O3o

Naruto: ._.

**SO I was... watching these videos of Youtube with the english voice actors of Naruto doing really funny things at anime cons, so I came up with this using them as an inspiration. (Hence just dialog) :) I hope you guys like it haha cause I sure DID have fun writing this. Originally when I thought of this, I was using my OC Sayori in Sakura's place (Sayori is his sister, long story...) I originally started out it out like this "Sasuke as your sister" but... you know I know you guys hate OCs. So I changed it to Sakura. I might do a sequel to this with Sai in it, but that depends on how much you guys liked this haha! It would be Shippuden addition! hehehe. Please review :D any question, please message me ^_^ **


End file.
